I’ve been thinking the last few months how we judge people without knowing all the facts. How we judge people by what others say or on a God-level scale rather than a human-level scale.

We judge the rich for being too rich and the poor for being too poor.  There’s judgement of the homeless and even our neighbors.  We judge people by body weight either thin or fat and judge people by their word choices.  We judge people on their religion, where they live and who they voted for. And way too often we jump to judgement because the news media tells us to.

For me I judged this man on one word – Watergate

I have to confess for about 45 years I’ve judged President Nixon from the media circus that surrounded him.  Granted, for his terms as President, I was in high school and only lived within that bubble.  He was in politics before I was born (1955) and I had no idea.  Visiting his Library last week, after living here for 6 years, made me step back and review the judging I had done.

I’ve taken a little poll on first impressions when hearing the words “President Nixon” from a few people I know, ages 28-70.

• His nose or caricature of face
• Egotistical meatball
• Failed war on drugs
• “Let me make myself perfectly clear”
• 37^th President
• Watergate
• Tricky Dicky

Is that all President Nixon should be known for?  He was a House Representative and Senator in California, Vice President, and eight years later President.  In the 1972 election he carried 49 states with 520 electoral votes – during – the Vietnam War.  Only Reagan has carried 49 states and Monroe 50 in 1820.  Think that could ever happen in this day and age?

Sadly the last office Nixon held, finally swallowed up his honesty, as it has to so many. The “beast” we call politics replaced his original beliefs and basic common sense with malevolence.

At the worst time of his life, he ordered wiretaps and targeted people who didn’t agree with him by finding damaging information on them.  He ordered the CIA to convince the FBI to stay out of it.  Fifty years later, it sadly appears that politics haven’t changed at all.   

After his fall from grace, President Nixon still ended up advising the five U.S. Presidents that followed him, upon their request. 

It’s a shame I never cared enough to look through my judgement to find out what good things he actually did for this country. In the years before he resigned, Nixon implemented the following domestic and foreign policies (not all are listed). 

Domestic Policy

• 1970 founded the EPA
• 1970 oversaw the peaceful desegregation of southern schools
• 1971 Dedicated $100 million to begin war on Cancer
• 1972 Signed Title IX – opening the doors for women in collegiate sports
• 1973 ended the draft
• 1970-1973 the first President to give Native Americans the right to tribal self-determination by ending the policy of forced assimilation and returning their sacred lands plus other federal Indian policies

Foreign Policy

• 1970 avoided a second Cuban Missile Crisis by adhering to his policy of hard-headed détente, an active rather than passive form of diplomacy
• 1972 participated in the SALT Strategic Arms Limitation Talks with Soviet Secretary General Breshnev to temper the Cold War through diplomatic détente
• 1972 signed the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty helping to calm U.S.-Soviet tensions by curtailing the threat of nuclear weapons
• 1972 First President to visit China, issuing the Shanghai Communique announcing a desire for open, normalized relations
• 1973 established a new relationship with the Middle East eliminating Soviet dominance in the region
• In reaction to the 1973 oil embargo, initiated Project Independence which set a timetable to end reliance on foreign oil by 1980
• 1973 Yom Kippur War, supported Israel with massive aid which Prime Minister Golda Meir later said saved her country
• 1973 signed the Paris Peace Accords ending U.S. involvement in Vietnam

Here are the remarks given by President Clinton at Richard Nixon’s funeral, April 27, 1994.

 “He made mistakes; and, they, like his accomplishments, are part of his life and record…  Today is a day for his family, his friends and his nation to remember President Nixon’s life in totality. To them, let us say, may the day of judging President Nixon on anything less than his entire life and career come to a close. May we heed his call to maintain the will and the wisdom to build on America’s greatest gift — its freedom; to lead a world full of difficulty to the just and lasting peace he dreamed of.”

In our “get it now immediate gratification society” can we step back and look at both the positive and negative that come with a person or a situation without judging?  Can we filter out what is being spoon fed to us on social media and delay our jump-on-the-band-wagon mentality of judgement?  Can we wait for all the facts to actually be produced?  It costs us nothing but – time and maybe gives us a little dignity back.

Grateful for you,

Sheree

Yesterday I prayed to God to find the leak in a client’s upstairs patio.  I didn’t make any deals with Him like I had when they found my tumor, I just said…

“God, could You please help me out with this leak, I’d really appreciate it…”

I know that from a prayer priority standpoint my request was definitely at the bottom. But hey, I had to put it out there!

I got the call – the flood test on the patio once again produced the ever elusive drip.  Tearing up I went right for “my very own” juggler!  I am the WORSE designer in, not just the world, but the whole universe. 

Why can’t I FIND THIS STUPID NEVER-ENDING LEAK?!?

I seriously feel like a Dickens character standing next to my client’s wallet saying, “Please, [ma’am] I want some more [$$].”  She’s recently had two strokes which I believe I’ve given her, as I am unable to FIND THE ANNOYING LEAK!

Before you say it, I do take this all personally because the individuals I’ve hired have failed over and over.  Even though they were referrals, had great reviews and really seemed to care until they could not find the leak, they merely suggested a lot of band-aids for the problem but no solution. Then there are the questions that haunt me like – Did the client need the new roof for the patio leak, because I believed the contractor when he said it.  Did she need the two new drains installed in the patio to prevent the leak, because I believed the plumber when he said it.  Why didn’t the sealed and re-tiled patio prevent the leak?  Did she need a new patio door – well that one I actually did see it leak, but yet the damn trickle continues.

In five years I’ve had four to five contractors, a roofer, a plumber, a stucco guy, a tile guy and a structural engineer. They all looked for this fricking leak but yet the clear and mighty liquid prevailed.

After making calls and feeling sorry for myself I devoured Oreos and potato chips to deaden the pain. I researched and re-read the engineers notes. I thought, how could such a small request to God go unanswered? Because you know in the scheme of things this was such a “big deal”…

Intellectually I knew, of course, it wasn’t a life or death situation or a threat to national security; but emotionally I felt I had failed her yet again.

Today I decided to walk a couple miles to clear my head. I was trying not to think about the upcoming meeting I will be having with her next week.  I walked in my favorite park with squirrels and newborn geese. Although it was peaceful, the problem hung over me like the California marine layer in May.

When I left the park I walked by a sidewalk that was NOT written on when I entered. 

I walked to my car with a tear in my eye and said “Thank You, got it.” Prayer answered… It may not have solved the leak issue but did solve mine!

Grateful for you,

Sheree

Yesterday started off like any other day in southern California in May.  The marine layer was hanging over looking gloomy.  Jeff left for work and called to tell me there were a lot of police cars, a firetruck and an ambulance at the end of our street near the entrance to the hiking trails.  We thought perhaps someone had fallen while hiking. 

I left for my morning walk and as I turned the corner I saw the gathering.  There were quite a few police surrounding a small blue car. One officer spoke to the landscapers while the prepared firefighters stood helpless on the side of the road.

The chill in the air seemed to sink deeper into my bones upon this sight.  A neighbor stood there watching and I asked what was happening. He explained that he had gone to the car to see if everything was OK as the engine was running. Unfortunately, he viewed something he most likely will never forget, the gentleman inside was dead.  As he started to share his thoughts on the situation, all I could think was…

“How could this happen when people live so close?”

I walked home numb and called our neighbor who is a detective. I asked if he could find out what had happened. We live in a nice part of Anaheim; a small gated community where the condos of 1100 sq. ft. cost a half million or more. People are generally happy here because it’s beautiful, expensive, but beautiful and the neighbors are generally very friendly.

But, how do we know what happens behind closed doors?

After a bit, our neighbor sent a text to say he had spoken with one of the officers. They confirmed that it was a person who lived in our complex. He had cancer and while he sat alone in his little blue car, parked at the end of our street, he took his life.

There were so many questions as I stood there frozen. How could this happen when people live so close? But the thing that made my heart just ache was that he sat in that little blue car, alone.

There is an End of Life Option Act in California.  Why couldn’t that have been his option?  Was it pain, or depression or confusion that drove him to his decision?

I thought of the suicide of a close friend of my daughter. And I had just recently heard about the suicide of a 30 year old, the nephew of a friend.

Could a call or a text or a card make a difference?  Could checking in on someone, keep the darkness away? I don’t know who the gentleman was, if he had a family or what his diagnosis might have been.

What I do know is how the ripple effect of what happened has affected a total stranger – me –

We donate monthly to the Patriotic Service Dog Foundation that provides Vets with service dogs. Those who are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).  This organization is working on taking the suicide rate of 22 vets a day down to 0.

By helping out an organization or something as simple as checking in with a neighbor or a friend, could we could help drop the suicide rate by one, then two, then many?

To the troubled soul in the little blue car, you will never be forgotten…

Grateful for you,

Sheree

Isn’t it interesting that old is new again, like organic food or being “green” by recycling?  All of a sudden people realized it’s bad to put pesticides on or inject the food we eat with chemicals; how brilliant of them! Could we be missing a simple fix to being green that’s beyond recycling? I found this great timeline on the History of Recycling.  The world has been working on the premise for centuries. 

Let’s step back in time to MY childhood which is not quite a century yet – ha ha. 

We had milk delivered in glass bottles and returned the bottles to the milkman.  We used paper straws and had to drink quickly before they got too soggy; they were paper. We covered left-overs in glass dishes with reusable covers sort of like shower caps.  And we used the popular re-sealable and washable Tupperware bowls to keep food fresh.  We wrapped our sandwiches in wax paper (no plastic sandwich bags) and took lunches in paper bags.  Oh and there weren’t plastic coffee pods, just percolator coffee pots that sounded awesome.  We didn’t have disposable dish cloths or throw away foamy scrubbers.  We had cloth napkins and carried cloth sacks to the grocery or were given paper bags.  We hung our laundry out to dry, no dryer sheets necessary.  We didn’t have paper towels; we used a dish towel to clean up messes.  And for diapers, I actually used cloth for both my ‘now’ grown-up children until potty training time. 

So America, besides the straws and plastic bags we’re all worried about, what about the trash generated from fast food? In a 2018 article from Franchise Help stated that “Globally, fast food generates revenue of over $570 billion – that is bigger than the economic value of most countries. In the United States revenue was a whopping $200 billion in 2015 – quite a lot of growth since the 1970 revenue of $6 billion.” That’s a lot of paper trash.

I’m not a hater on fast food, but this cannot be good for our waistlines or our “waste bins.”

What surprised me in California, which has banned plastic bags and frowns on straws, is the huge lack of recycling centers.  How is it possible that the people in California “lost out on at least $308 million in nickel deposits on cans and bottles in 2018, largely because it’s increasingly difficult to find a place to recycle them…”  KTLA.com. 

And while we’re at it should we be including those few gazillion cardboard boxes that are generated by that oh so convenient Amazon delivery company in this discussion?

Will the ban of plastic straws and plastic grocery bags keep the world from being polluted?  It obviously can’t hurt but how do we get other countries on board?  An article carried by Deutsche Welle in 2017 stated, “90 percent of all the plastic that reaches the world’s oceans gets flushed through just 10 rivers: The Yangtze, the Indus, Yellow River, Hai River, the Nile, the Ganges, Pearl River, Amur River, the Niger, and the Mekong.”  How do we make the world aware?  It seems that many just don’t know or don’t have access to recycling centers.

After mulling over all of these points, I wanted to come up with some earth-shattering solution to be presented on Earth Day 2019.

The solution, at least for Americans, was very simple:   TIME

We have one or two jobs and our children need to be involved in something 24-7.  Our work week is no longer 40 hours but rather 60, making shopping on-line for clothing, food and entertainment a way of life, which then generates a whole lot of boxes.

Drive-thru food is convenient when there’s no TIME to cook.  Disposable packaging means less TIME doing dishes, cleanup or planning.  We don’t really think when we reach for a plastic bag to store a slice of cheese or grab a paper plate to hold a few chips.  If we slowed down we’d grab a reusable bowl to store that cheese and a glass plate for those chips.

With more TIME we could reach for reusable things not just recyclable things.  We would be present in our lives instead of living a blur to get us from this day to the next; a blur that causes us to do things that are more convenient than conscientious. We might like being calmer and choose a lifestyle that affords us more TIME which would ultimately help us create less trash. 

Well that was easy…. Enjoy your Earth Day 2019!!

Grateful for you and living on this big blue planet,

Sheree