Why do we wait to tell our family and friends memorable things until AFTER they have left this world, when we could and should tell them BEFORE they leave?  When it matters, when it can make them feel good, when they could hear what an incredible impact they have made on the world.  If you need an excuse, there’s a perfect time, just a few days away. So here’s my eulogy to my living friend.

Thanksgiving brings up all sorts of feelings for me each year, the obvious ones being thankful for everything and everyone in my life.  This year, though, will be different; my brother-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer last spring.  The doctors gave him a timeline – one year no treatment, two years aggressive treatment.  But knowing him, the fighter that he is, I’m not sure “terminal” was the correct word.  The latest scans show the spots on his liver are gone and the cancer in his intestine hasn’t grown.

Tim, my Friend

During our talks this year we’ve kidded about how he’d like to review what’s said at his funeral since he supposedly has an expiration date… well that’s what HE thought.  So I got to thinking, since he knows I’m not fond of funerals, I’d like to give his eulogy, during this season of Thanks.  I’m sure it will be decades before his departure, but I think he needs to hear what I’d say.

This is for Tim, my dear friend.

Tim, I know we’ve spoken and laughed, on how you’d like to review what’s said at your funeral, so here it is…

We were friends before you met my sister.  Even then you had an old spirit, a wise one.  I drove the tractor while you and Carlton baled the hay and afterwards we’d listen to your dad tell stories in the barn while he milked the cows.

I loved being a part of your marriage to my sister and rejoiced at the births of your three beautiful sons and three precious grandchildren.

Yours and Cindy’s house was always the Kool-Aid house to me.  A place where everyone liked to come, have family dinners and hang out.  And although you battled Crohn’s disease your whole life and missed out on most of the foods we take for granted, your enjoyment for what you could eat was inspiring.

We’ve shared births, weddings, and deaths but most of all we’ve shared stories.  We have laughed till we cried and no one will ever enjoy my martini olives the way you did!

When Jeff couldn’t get home in time, you and Cindy were my lifesavers. She took care of Alex, who was 3 years old and Emma only 4 weeks while you rushed me to the hospital.  You made me laugh the whole time which was not easy as I was in the midst of appendicitis. 

Seeing your reaction to the Grand Canyon brought tears to my eyes and our trip to the “House on the Rock,” which we confused with Frank Lloyd’s Wright’s Taliesin, will be in the top 5 trips of laughter. This miscalculation is where I learned that you knew the capital of every state.

You are an incredible example to your children and grandchildren because of your faith, your work ethic, your marriage and your belief that the Cubs may one day win the Series – man you were really close in 2015.  You have worked with a smile on your face, six days a week for your entire life, to give your family everything you could.

God has given you the greenest thumb of anyone I’ve ever known, as witnessed by your violets and every plant you’ve ever touched.  I hope everyone will remember that you were an incredible baseball player, a devout Catholic; you loved old westerns, sweet treat, pheasants, pelicans the Cubs and the Bears. 

My dear friend, you have been an incredible husband to my sister.  You have made her laugh; you have surprised her, supported her, and loved her through the tough times.  You have been her friend, which was the MOST important thing.

So, my beloved friend, enjoy eating and drinking and planting gardens without pain and send a few hitters to the North Side once you’re settled in.

You will be welcomed home as your journey ends here, because you were only on loan to us, showing us how it should be done.  Heaven wants you back, dear one, sooner than we would like, sooner than we would like…

All my love, your sister-in-law and friend,

Sheree

With Gratitude and Thanks for the loved ones that surround us this Thanksgiving

For the past three weeks I have been remodeling an office in Tempe, AZ about 360 miles from my home. Luckily my son and his girlfriend live eight miles from the job and have a guest room with my name engraved on it….

While here, I visited with friends who remodeled their kitchen but had one last piece to do – the back splash. The kitchen was done in beautiful neutrals, dark cabinets, white and brown granite and stainless appliances. So how hard could it be to finish it off? Something was keeping the wife from making a decision from the 20 tile samples that were laying about the house.

We talked a bit and though the samples her husband had picked were stunning, there was something missing. The samples were safe and neutral, but lacked ‘her’ personality.

Years ago my older sister asked me something interesting? “Why do you only decorate with your personality when you’re going to “sell” your home instead of doing it when you first move in?” Why DIDN’T I do things to my house right away?  Since that day I have decorated my homes to LIVE in, from the beginning: colored walls, drapes, rugs, bedding, and I love being there – coming home – (which someday I hope to do – with the added bonus of seeing my husband).

The Staircase in my home!

As I shared this bit of wisdom with my friend she asked, “What if I put the tile up and I don’t like it in a year or two?” and I responded, “It’s only tile, rip it out!”

I wonder why we wait to put up those back splashes that reflect our personalities. Why don’t we paint a wall orange with white polka dots, or hang drapes from our patio? Are we waiting for permission from someone? And besides, when we sell, can’t we just paint those walls back to taupe?

I feel like we’re always waiting for something: growing up, graduating, promotions, better homes and cars, weddings, grand babies, retiring or putting some amazing back splash up.

Stop waiting and put up the damn back splash!

With gratitude,

Sheree

Took your breath away, didn’t it…

I know when you saw the picture you started hyperventilating, just a little bit, but I’m here to help you breathe through this.

Yep it’s July 17 and yep that was a picture of Christmas décor on store shelves right now and yep there’s a mere 160 days until Christmas…breathe.

I talked to you about this last year “Are You Kidding – Christmas Decorations Already?” and some of you laughed at me and some of you ignored me and some of you actually started to address your Christmas cards when it was 110⁰ (good job).

Look, we have to endure political campaigning for years before an election (which is awful) and prepare months before a wedding (which is expensive) and we even start saving for next year’s Christmas in January (well not me… but some people might). So being alerted five months ahead isn’t so bad?

Here’s how we can get through this together, deep breath…

1. Don’t forget it’s the happiest time of the year, sort of like being at Disneyland for like five months….
2. You now have time to make a meaningful list with the most important people on top, and the “I like ‘em but…” people at the bottom. Only think about the most important ones for gifts and send the “I like ‘em but…” people a beautiful card with a note inside.
3. Since you have five months to think about these important people, you can’t help but find the perfect gift.
4. Think about giving experiences rather than things, like tickets to the zoo or children’s museum. I got this great idea from a friend last year. Not only did it save on shipping costs and cut down on the clutter in their home; it gave my grand-nephew memories!
5. Food is never a bad idea.
6. Shop at local shops, you may be saving their business for the year.
7. Bigger is not always better. Meaningful beats mass. No friend or family member wants you to go into debt for them.
8. Give a donation in their name and let them know who they’ve helped out this year.
9. In regards to decorating – remember – this IS when the designers buy their décor. You get the first shot at the best selections.
10. Follow the old KISS suggestion when shopping or planning or decorating – Keep It Simple Silly – well maybe not the decorating part.

Are you breathing yet?

So it may be 100⁰ out, and we still need to celebrate all who labor, witches and goblins, and being incredibly grateful to have things that still take our breath away – like ornaments in July – but it is never too early to eliminate stress and hurry and worry.  That’s why — I’m here to help you breathe through this!

Grateful for you and more Glitter…

Sheree

Courage and Cat Videos

In my travels back to Phoenix this past year I stood in the presence of real courage.  Not the “I have the courage to ask for a raise”, or “I have the courage to try a new hair style”, I mean the epitome of the word courage.

While in town I have been helping out a friend and her husband.  Her husband has stage four glioblastoma multiforme which is normally a cancer found in the brain; his was located in the spine.  Only .01 percent of people get this type of cancer in that location and it is deadly.  Hearing the news, he replied, “Let’s get this fight started, Bubba”, and with that attitude, made everyone around him cheer him on with belief and laughter.

This is a man who has fought his whole life to LIVE, from being abused by his father and abandoned as a young boy to fighting and being shot in the Agent Orange fields of Vietnam.  While working a 30 year career as a firefighter, he turned his car into an out-of-control driver and took the hit on his side to keep his wife and small child from being hurt, this lead to a broken pelvis and other injuries.  They said he wouldn’t walk again, but he did walk out of that hospital and returned to the fire department, because he chose to LIVE.

And now the fight is directed toward miniscule cancer cells that spread within his spine. After 17 months of chemo, his choices have become less and less and after many heartfelt discussions, this man decided once again to keep on fighting and chose to have the cancer cut out of his spinal cord.  That decision means his spine will forever be severed.

He starts a new journey, in a new body, for as long as he can fight this fight.  Learning to live without his legs, as many have done, but knowing all the while he made the choice, the choice to LIVE.

As I listen to the news and see our young take the lives of each other or view the entitlement so many expect or hear the continual ranting from each political party, I want to just scream and say:

YOU HAVE THE CHOICE TO WORK TODAY

YOU HAVE THE CHOICE TO LOVE TODAY

YOU HAVE THE CHOICE TO BE FREE TODAY

YOU HAVE THE CHOICE TO BE KIND TODAY

YOU HAVE THE CHOICE TO BE GRATEFUL TODAY

AND

YOU HAVE THE CHOICE TO WATCH CAT VIDEOS OR NOT…

So…Use your choices wisely,  BEFORE they are no longer YOUR choices.

Grateful for you,

Sheree