I’ve seen that flicker in the eyes of my dad after he was diagnosed with cancer. Even though he had chosen to have his IV’s pulled, thinking his journey would end quickly, that flicker had other plans. Instead of ending his journey in a day or two, the flicker kept him with us for two more weeks, it wasn’t ready to leave.
That Flicker
That flicker is the will to live. We may not all experience it but it’s something we should never take for granted. Maybe it’s not the “will to live,” rather more like the “gift of life.” When that flicker, which is meant to sustain us, starts to fade, we are given a gift. The gift of looking through a curtain, made up of all our possessions, to the pure and innocent purpose for which we were intended.
As I sat with my dad those last few days, he shared with me how he’d like to apologize to everyone he had ever hurt or treated badly. That flicker pulled back the curtains and let him see clearly what was important.
I’ve spent the last few years helping a friend and her husband, who had been battling cancer of the spine and just recently was diagnosed with a secondary brain tumor. This retired Fire Fighter and Vet went from nearly 250 lbs. of muscle to a frail 150 lbs. His flicker helped him live 2-1/2 years longer than the 6 months they originally gave him. It drove him to sever his spine to stop the cancer growth and it kept that man going even when his body continued to fail. That flicker kept a sparkle in his eyes allowing him to pull back his curtain and share comforting words of wisdom to my son, whose relationship with his girlfriend of four years had just ended. He spoke with such care and love, putting his painful journey to the side so he could share what’s really important in life.
That flicker is in all of us, perhaps buried a little deeper in some, or muted by the have to, the should do, or the must do’s that come with the lives we choose. It’s behind the phones, computers and television screens. That gift of life, that flicker, is there in the corner of your eyes when you look at the mirror longer than a second or in your taste buds after your favorite meal. It’s carried along with the sound of a favorite melody or the aroma of a night jasmine.
Don’t wait for that flicker to pull the curtains away. Assist the flicker and choose to separate those curtains before the decision is made for you and the time to see clearly is limited.
Dedicated to my dear friend, Rick Shaw (3/17/50 – 4/30/16)
“I mean if my muscles ache, it’s because I’ve used ’em. It’s hard for me to walk up them steps now, its ‘cuz I walked up ’em every night to lay next to a woman who loved me. I got a few wrinkles here and there, but I’ve laid under thousands of skies with sunny days. I look and feel this way, well cuz I drank and I smoked. I lived and I loved, danced, sang, sweat and screwed my way through a pretty damn good life if you ask me.” Edited quote from The Guardian
So while saying prayers each day I often imagine these would be God’s Answers …
“You know you don’t actually have to name every family member and friend each night, right? I’m pretty sure I remember their names.”
“The plane has a mechanic to check all the nuts and bolts and tire pressures, but I’ll be here during the flight if you need to talk.”
“Thank you for asking to send courage to those who are struggling with illnesses, because my plans aren’t always black and white and may not be what everyone needs or wants.”
“I agree with you, people should pay attention more to the task at hand. And the coffee drinking, phone talking driver who almost hit you isn’t really listening to me right now because multi-tasking has replaced what they came into the world with – common sense.”
“Yes, there is a reason why I made cactus so pokey.”
“No I can’t make people act in a kind way. They are given a few simple rules and if that’s too much for them, they’ll have natural consequences – promise!”
“Thank you for acknowledging all the choices you have when you go to the grocery store.”
“No I can’t make it rain, but realizing that the weather patterns I created are cyclical might help you ration what you have.”
“Yes I have a sense of humor, that’s why YOU have a sense of humor.”
“I agree, one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to deal with is allowing others to be who they are.”
“I understand your confusion. The only thing I can do is send clarity for those involved in your upcoming election. So get off of Facebook and avoid all the negativity from both sides and refer to the note above this one…”
“I understand the pain of watching your children go through heartbreaking times.”
“You’re welcome for the beauty of nature, even the roly poly bugs.”
“Yep, I’m there for your children, it’s up to them to ask for the help and accept that sometimes a non-answer is an answer.”
“Scorpions are needed, honest.”
“You’re welcome — sometimes you need a wake-up call and yours, dear one, was Boomer…”
I’d like a perfume that smells like basil, come on, who doesn’t like basil…
I would like to have known my grandparents when I was an adult.
I’d like everyone to experience the ocean.
At times, I’d like to return to a corded telephone.
I’d like, at 5’3”, to have more leg room on airplanes – I feel for you tall people.
I’d like to have more of an open-mind.
If I ever lose one of these senses, I’d like to always remember the voices of my children and singing birds, the smell of pork chops frying in my mom’s kitchen, seeing the beauty of a sunset and how it feels to hold hands.
I’d like my hairdresser to be a live-in.
I’d like the whole world to stop hating and smile for one whole day; just one day.
I’d like people to look inside their very own bubble and see what they can fix instead of popping everyone else’s bubble by trying to fix them.
I’d like butter to always be soft.
I’d really like people to stop thinking red lights are only a suggestion.
I’d like my GPS to talk to me and say “Really dingle-butt, you chose to turn there instead of listening to me”?
I’d like my family to live within driving distance to each other – a distance that takes less than a day to drive or fly.
I’d love for every human to recognize that there is a greater Being than our own little human bodies, or our selfies, or social media or our paychecks. A Being that is so full of Love, He sacrificed His child to prove how much He Loved us. A Being that resides in our souls and looks out our eyes and thinks when we say or do things “Yep, that’s what I’m about!” or “Nope, didn’t teach her that…” Well at least that’s what I’d like to believe…
Happy Easter and Grateful for you and chocolate bunnies,
Dear Emma, I will never tell you who to vote for but I do ask that you try and find the truth through all the name calling; the falsehoods and billions of dollars spent on running campaigns. I am pretty sure that 225+ years ago during the first election, George Washington and the other fellows who were running for President, never, ever wanted elections to look or sound like this, or have obscene amounts of money spent on them. So before you vote I need to share with you a few things that really stood out for me this election pre-game.
Find the Truth
Thoughts on One Percenters
This term is defined so many different ways and really depends on so many variables, like your age and area you live in or what internet site you visit. For instance, on one site I read that your brother and his girlfriend would be considered One Percenters at their ages of 27. They’ve worked very hard to earn that title. You, my daughter, are considered middle class after working for just two years and Dad and I are in the top 10% where we live – where the heck did I park our yacht which I moved with my eight year old car?
socialism – a way of organizing a society in which major industries are owned and controlled by the government rather than by individual people and companies
I read an interesting blog by a 14 year old, yes a 14 year old, Shrey Srivastava. He perceptively wrote:
“…socialism does not reward hard work”
“…socialism will also undermine innovation”
“…socialism, contrary to popular belief, undermines the basic moral values of a person and promotes instant gratification”
When you research if socialism works in countries, dig deep to ascertain the tax rates, the happiness rankings and quality of service and healthcare in those countries. Check out how the financials in those countries are doing, like in Greece. But also be aware that we do have socialistic programs here in the United States. Those programs are the welfare programs.
As welfare programs have increased so have the number of people on them. We are reaching a great imbalance of working individuals vs. those who are on welfare, something like 1 to 1.3*, if you remove the number of people running the programs. That means every day you work, YOU support 1.3 people on some kind of welfare program.
Food Aid
Housing Assistance
Medical Assistance
Social Services
Education Assistance
Direct Cash Assistance
Energy and Utility Assistance
Child Care Assistance
Child Development Programs
Welfare programs were created after the Depression to aid those in need of food and shelter, until the economy turned and jobs once again became available. Today, undeniably many need those programs but it appears that the programs have taken the place of earning a living by way of a job. And though there have been unbelievable strides in industry and innovation in the last 100 years, we now have more people on welfare programs than ever before. With all that innovation you’d think we would have learned from our past mistakes, but no.
We’ve taxed and regulated high paying companies so greatly that they’ve left our borders for other lands. With those companies went jobs and benefits that so many need, right here, in our own country. The Wall Street Journal in 2014 reported the number one employer in America was Walmart, then UPS and the third largest McDonalds. In 2013 the Government set the poverty level threshold for a family of four at $23,021. About 2/3 of the people who work at Walmart make $25,000 or less. See where I’m going with this?
The problem, which I find curious, is that the “intelligent” individuals who taxed those big companies right out of our country couldn’t project that the sustainability of working individuals supporting non-working and needful people would eventually, one day, become unbalanced.
My concern, as with many others, is when the number of workers, like you, becomes less than the number of those on welfare, who will support the needful masses?
I truly believe that everyone inherently wants to help those in need, as seen by all the volunteer work your office does. But it has become very easy for people to take advantage of welfare programs and those who support them. I want to believe if a system was set up to provide training and jobs, instead of welfare assistance, people will want to work.
When you vote, think about individuals who can start to overhaul this system. A system that needs to teach, train, and create jobs for able body individuals. Vote for an individual who can instill pride and the same desire to work and make a difference in individuals, as you have carried within yourself.
I need you to remember how proud we are of you. You have worked very hard academically and athletically for your college scholarships, paying off student loans and then finding a job in a city you wanted to live, even if it meant a lot of sacrifices. Never be ashamed of trying to succeed or wanting to make a good life for yourself and never apologize for that drive. Always, always shoot for the stars, my dear daughter! With that I suspect you will look seriously at the candidates, find the truth and make a wise and informed decision.
Grateful for you and remember, you should visit your mother more often!
Love,
Mom
P.S. You know how I feel about the truth in articles written on the internet. So please know that these sites may not be completely accurate or unbiased, but are the most recent examples I could find. I leave the rest of the research up to you…
* AMAC Advantage Magazine, Winter 2016, The Growing Welfare State Sustainable?, Gerry Hafer – Page 28
