“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.“

– George Orwell

I know it’s been awhile since my last entry, over two months in fact. It’s not that I haven’t been observing things, because I have, but what I’ve been “absorbing” hasn’t been so pretty.  Not sure if you feel the same way, but so many things that surround us today make me feel so dirty.  I want to take a shower for about two weeks to get rid of the stickiness of hatred, division and sadness.

After taking down Christmas décor in January I returned to my home which had already been stripped of its glitter and garland. I love Christmas decorating, but after packing it away the house feels so much lighter.  It’s as if it’s gotten things off its chest, sort of like coming clean.  So I’ve decided in this year of 2018 to risk being hated, unfriended and chastised.  I’m coming clean with my thoughts on current events and don’t need to announce it on a billboard or in the news.  This mind dump of mine will do just fine.

Politics:

I am a liberal in my heart and a conservative in my brain. There… I said it! At first I thought this was a detriment, but in reality it actually allows me to view things from both sides of the aisle.  I have friends who are conservatives and some who are liberals.  You all need to know that I give equal time to researching articles you post, for the facts, so don’t take it personally.  Sadly, I just don’t believe what is reported, or posted or quoted anymore.

Remember when we all used to make fun of the Enquirer and how we never believed anything that was written in it?  (Well at least I thought that way.)  That’s how I now feel about every news outlet and every article that is written.  It’s pretty hard to get the facts today without them being camouflaged in personal opinions.  Before the internet or Facebook we read newspapers or listened to a few news stations that appeared to report, not opinionate, the news.  They didn’t share the opinion of every person in the world, which Facebook, Twitter, and Hollywood do today.

I had to form my own opinions, not absorb someone else’s.

Sorry got off track… Now that I think about it, I may really be a constitutionalist. I tend to like order so following rules or laws makes sense to me and calms me down.  Using that little document in Washington D.C., called the Constitution has helped us make decisions for the last 230 years.  I do wonder, though, why many think it’s a pick and choose document.  Pick and choose what rules they’d like to follow when it is helpful in their discussions or endeavors.  I never thought that’s how it was intended to be used… but I’m not a history major either.

I’m very sad that I can’t talk politics with people who don’t lean the same way I do. When speaking with them I always feel as if what I have to say is not as important or accurate as what they’re sharing.  I feel like they are always trying to make me believe their truth, as if what I believe has no merit.  My opinion is undervalued and I must have been living under a rock and have no clue what the entire world knows to be true.  I wonder if conservatives made liberals feel that way for the eight years of President Obama.  I wonder if both sides know that’s how they make people feel.

I’m waiting for the scales to start balancing out in this crazy world. It seems we all tip left, then right, then left and right again.  There have been times that people on the left have supported things people on the right support now and vice versa, but short-term memory loss kicks in and they forget their speeches and actions.  Can’t we all just hang out in center field for a bit?

Religion:

There’s another set of simple rules I “attempt” to follow: The 10 Commandments.  Although I don’t attend a church and I’m not too religious, I have used these guidelines since Catholic grade school.  I have failed at a few, one being No. 8.  Weirdly a collection of tiny spoons has found their way into my kitchen; I’d like to think that I saved them from accidently being thrown out. Shit I AM a rule-breaker…

If you look at other religions they also have a set of 10 rules – Buddhists (not fond of their “don’t be intoxicated” one), Muslims – yep there are 10 Commandments in the Quran (again, not crazy about their “cutting off of the hand” or “stoning” sections). Most religions have “rules” which are not too complicated.  They’re basically a ‘how to be a nice person’ list of rules. (Disclaimer:  This author does not support the concept of Sharia Law).

Immigration:

I have mixed feelings about immigration, obviously, since I am a rule follower. Because of gangs, drugs, and corruption splitting up families – how would people not want to search out a life in America to raise their family and find work?  But in reality, I cannot go and stay in another country without following their laws.  So I wonder why can’t the funds that support these hopeful people in America go to making their homelands safe and prosperous.  I’m not sure but I think many of them would not have wanted to leave their homes if their countries were safe, had work for them and had a supportive government.

Things I think about at 2:30am…

If “sanctuary” cities, counties and states can break a federal law, then why can’t I break city, county and state laws?  And if cities, counties and states are breaking the law, how are we to teach our children to follow the law?  How is it that we pick and choose which laws to follow?  When children break the law, disrespect, hurt and kill people, how can we all be so shocked?  If we as adults stop following the laws, what keeps this country from falling into complete anarchy?  Research anarchy in countries, it’s not pretty…

History:

I don’t want to eliminate things in the past that we don’t agree with today. Young people need to read about our history, without erasing or destroying it, so we can keep from repeating the stupid stuff.  There’s something called the internet that can help them look it up.  They can see how far we’ve come. They can stop looking back to reignite wounds and try looking forward to revive healing.

#metoo:

I’m trying to think of what women friends I have that have not been harassed by some dingle-butt in her life.  I’m not saying that all men are dingle-butts and I hope that I didn’t raise one, but there were and are men out there who were not raised to respect women or men or things for that matter.

Whether it’s being dragged into an office, smacked on the ass, spoken shadily to in another language or had their boobs looked at instead of their face, it’s all degrading.  I’ve personally had women in an office turn against me because I “didn’t” have sex with the boss (not a good day for womanhood).

I want to stand up right now and applaud all those women and men who said, “hell no” and walked out, quit the job or promised themselves that when they could, they would…  Now let’s get on with living and stop accusing every person who ever hugged you or called you babe, an abuser.  It minimizes the real trauma women and men have experienced at the hands of their abusers.

Gender and Race:

I don’t want this to be a genderless, grey world. There ARE differences between men and women; they are supposed to be different.  A lot of people like that there are differences.  This goes with skin color too.  I love that we live on a Technicolor planet.  So people, please don’t try and make us all genderless clones and colorless….

My mind is made up; I won’t stop calling men, men or women, women. If I try to call them a huMAN or a perSON I will somehow offend someone.  And if it comes down to calling people, people, how will I be able to determine who a “people” is?  If I describe them by gender, race, hair color, height, or clothing, I’m most certainly going to hurt someone’s feelings.  It’s a description not an attack on their PERSONhood.   Shit, is hood a bad word too?  I am happy to be a WOMan in the huMAN race.  I’m not intimidated by men, and I’m not apologizing for being a person of the lady-kind…

Abortion:

My feelings have changed quite a bit from my twenties to my sixties on abortion. “No one should dictate what I do with my body”- that’s something I felt very strong about in the 70’s – before I had children.  To help you understand my thought process today, here’s an example:

I skateboard down a hill and I break my arm.  It was my bad idea and I’ve got to deal with the consequences.  I could have taken precautions like wearing protective gear. I possibly should NOT have skated down the hill or perhaps I should have gotten lessons.

I’ve used the letter “I” a lot in this section, because it was all about ME.

When getting pregnant though, it’s not all about “I” anymore, it’s about him and me and the little life that is created.  I could have abstained, used the pill, and he could have used protection.  Ultimately the act between a male and female is to make a baby – I know I’m sounding like my mother on this point. I mean it’s also fun, but that’s not the subject of this paragraph.

I just can’t get my head wrapped around the idea that it’s ok to end a 20 week old pregnancy, which is halfway through the term.  How is that ok?  That baby has toes and hands and breathes and can wave at you in an ultrasound.  It’s no longer about “I”, it became “WE” 20 weeks ago.  I’m going to have to go back to the how come we can pick and choose what rules we follow.  Just my opinion, at 20 weeks, ending that baby’s life seems like murder (see my thoughts in the Religion subheading regarding No. 6 in the Commandments).

In 38 states if you kill a pregnant mother and her unborn child dies, it’s a double homicide.  Looking through my eyes it’s not only the woman’s body we’re talking about anymore, it’s their houseguest too.  Tons of people believe life begins at conception, I get it.  But if there is to be an abortion why not do it within the first four weeks when that zygote is a bundle of cells?  You know then that you ARE pregnant.  Don’t wait until it’s actually waving at you.  I’d need law and theology degrees to discuss this further…  (Disclaimer:  I’m talking about consensual relationships, not the exceptions, i.e. rape/incest, medical issues etc.)

Why does it seem that this world, as a whole, has digressed like 50 years?

Have we really digressed or is it just what news outlets want us to believe?  Do they have a vested interest somewhere to divide this country?  I see people of different races, genders, and sexual preferences talking with each other, laughing and working together.  They’re raising their children and attending church together.  They’re doing acts of kindness all over the place, but it seems like all we hear about is the .001% of society who are messing up.

Although the topics listed above come with a sticky side and very adamant or angry people, I truly believe in my heart that all, if not Most People are Good.  Enjoy the song and lyrics (after the ad of course…) by Luke Bryan.

Grateful for you and coming clean,

Sheree