Yesterday I prayed to God to find the leak in a client’s upstairs patio.  I didn’t make any deals with Him like I had when they found my tumor, I just said…

“God, could You please help me out with this leak, I’d really appreciate it…”

I know that from a prayer priority standpoint my request was definitely at the bottom. But hey, I had to put it out there!

I got the call – the flood test on the patio once again produced the ever elusive drip.  Tearing up I went right for “my very own” juggler!  I am the WORSE designer in, not just the world, but the whole universe. 

Why can’t I FIND THIS STUPID NEVER-ENDING LEAK?!?

I seriously feel like a Dickens character standing next to my client’s wallet saying, “Please, [ma’am] I want some more [$$].”  She’s recently had two strokes which I believe I’ve given her, as I am unable to FIND THE ANNOYING LEAK!

Before you say it, I do take this all personally because the individuals I’ve hired have failed over and over.  Even though they were referrals, had great reviews and really seemed to care until they could not find the leak, they merely suggested a lot of band-aids for the problem but no solution. Then there are the questions that haunt me like – Did the client need the new roof for the patio leak, because I believed the contractor when he said it.  Did she need the two new drains installed in the patio to prevent the leak, because I believed the plumber when he said it.  Why didn’t the sealed and re-tiled patio prevent the leak?  Did she need a new patio door – well that one I actually did see it leak, but yet the damn trickle continues.

In five years I’ve had four to five contractors, a roofer, a plumber, a stucco guy, a tile guy and a structural engineer. They all looked for this fricking leak but yet the clear and mighty liquid prevailed.

After making calls and feeling sorry for myself I devoured Oreos and potato chips to deaden the pain. I researched and re-read the engineers notes. I thought, how could such a small request to God go unanswered? Because you know in the scheme of things this was such a “big deal”…

Intellectually I knew, of course, it wasn’t a life or death situation or a threat to national security; but emotionally I felt I had failed her yet again.

Today I decided to walk a couple miles to clear my head. I was trying not to think about the upcoming meeting I will be having with her next week.  I walked in my favorite park with squirrels and newborn geese. Although it was peaceful, the problem hung over me like the California marine layer in May.

When I left the park I walked by a sidewalk that was NOT written on when I entered. 

I walked to my car with a tear in my eye and said “Thank You, got it.” Prayer answered… It may not have solved the leak issue but did solve mine!

Grateful for you,

Sheree

Yesterday started off like any other day in southern California in May.  The marine layer was hanging over looking gloomy.  Jeff left for work and called to tell me there were a lot of police cars, a firetruck and an ambulance at the end of our street near the entrance to the hiking trails.  We thought perhaps someone had fallen while hiking. 

I left for my morning walk and as I turned the corner I saw the gathering.  There were quite a few police surrounding a small blue car. One officer spoke to the landscapers while the prepared firefighters stood helpless on the side of the road.

The chill in the air seemed to sink deeper into my bones upon this sight.  A neighbor stood there watching and I asked what was happening. He explained that he had gone to the car to see if everything was OK as the engine was running. Unfortunately, he viewed something he most likely will never forget, the gentleman inside was dead.  As he started to share his thoughts on the situation, all I could think was…

“How could this happen when people live so close?”

I walked home numb and called our neighbor who is a detective. I asked if he could find out what had happened. We live in a nice part of Anaheim; a small gated community where the condos of 1100 sq. ft. cost a half million or more. People are generally happy here because it’s beautiful, expensive, but beautiful and the neighbors are generally very friendly.

But, how do we know what happens behind closed doors?

After a bit, our neighbor sent a text to say he had spoken with one of the officers. They confirmed that it was a person who lived in our complex. He had cancer and while he sat alone in his little blue car, parked at the end of our street, he took his life.

There were so many questions as I stood there frozen. How could this happen when people live so close? But the thing that made my heart just ache was that he sat in that little blue car, alone.

There is an End of Life Option Act in California.  Why couldn’t that have been his option?  Was it pain, or depression or confusion that drove him to his decision?

I thought of the suicide of a close friend of my daughter. And I had just recently heard about the suicide of a 30 year old, the nephew of a friend.

Could a call or a text or a card make a difference?  Could checking in on someone, keep the darkness away? I don’t know who the gentleman was, if he had a family or what his diagnosis might have been.

What I do know is how the ripple effect of what happened has affected a total stranger – me –

We donate monthly to the Patriotic Service Dog Foundation that provides Vets with service dogs. Those who are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).  This organization is working on taking the suicide rate of 22 vets a day down to 0.

By helping out an organization or something as simple as checking in with a neighbor or a friend, could we could help drop the suicide rate by one, then two, then many?

To the troubled soul in the little blue car, you will never be forgotten…

Grateful for you,

Sheree